I’m *so* relieved to see that all of Obama’s talk about Change really was campaign rhetoric and little else. I mean, there are just so many sound and wholesome policies on the books that those looney lefties seem hellbent to mess with… Case in point: those wonderful, wonderful landmines that are perfect for breaking the ice at parties or, well, maiming wanna-be terrorists before they get a chance to commit mischief — or reach puberty.
Nope, said a spokeshack for the State Department when asked why the US continues to stick with three-time “Nasty Nation of the Year” award winner Myanmar in refusing to sign the treaty:
we would not be able to meet our national defense needs, nor our security commitments to our friends and allies if we sign this convention
Seriously — what national defense need is met with fucking land mines?!? Is the State Department still worried about those Canadians spilling over our borders in droves so they can avail themselves of our totally awesome healthcare system? What? Where is this dire threat that requires something as medieval as landmines? I suppose they’re going to tell us that they’re ramping up catapult production again in face of the dire threat from Mexican insurgents.
Is Obama going out of his way to get zero good press these days? I mean, seriously: this was a total no-brainer for him: do the right thing, stand there with a saintly smile on your face like Mother Theresa’s long lost black brother, sign the stupid treaty already, score some cheap points with the Dirty Fucking Hippies, and then go back to sending another 34,000 Americans off to a pointless death in Afghanistan because you can’t make a smart decision to save your life. But no, that was too much for the special needs PR people with which he apparently wants to surround himself — they had to screw this one up, too: “nope, Barack, you gotta stand tough on the landmine thing; sure they killed over 1,200 people last year, a third of them kids, but they’re just so, gosh darn neat and we gotta have ’em. It’ll make you look like a total dick, but you’ll get used to it…”
Just incredibly embarrassing and cringeworthy.