Tag: they write letters

May 16, 2007

Dear Fred Thompson, I’ve been so excited ever since you announced your bid for the throne GOP nomination for 2008, but today you left me confused. Did you not get the memo? I know Karl Rove is busy these days, what with his crumbling empire and dissent in the ranks, but I’d have thought he…

January 21, 2007

This rebuttal ran in my local paper, The Valley News: To the editor, It’s unclear if Mr. Gersen (“mission creep in public schools”, January 14) is finding it hard to face up to his responsibility or is trying to convince himself that he has none. The school district already has an implied nutritional policy that…

December 14, 2006

Dear Michael Crichton, You continue to inspire. Not only did you help convince Dear Leader that global warming is nothing more than a treehugger hoax, but now your vindictive ways have set a new, glorious standard for the fine and unappreciated art of petty revenge. Writing up a critic as a child rapist in your…

October 3, 2005

Dear Indiana State Senator Patricia Miller, I just learned about the exciting new legislation you have underway in Indiana aimed at regulating “Unauthorized Reproduction.” I think it’s about time, and I’m eager to share your novel ideas with my local representatives here in Vermont to institute a similar micro-management of the sex life of my…

February 1, 2005

Sears National Customer Relations 3333 Beverly Road Hoffman Estates, IL 60179 Norwich, VT, February 1, 2005 Dear Sears, Recently, our Kenmore fridge/freezer gave up on us; at six years of age, this was a little ahead of time, but so be it. The $220 service agreement that you sold us when I called repairs offered…