Maybe God’s Just Not That Into You Any More

Kershaw650From the department of heh:

MONROE, Ohio — A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said.

What a great loss to humanity — a 62-foot-tall Jesus statue made of plastic foam and fiberglass over a steel frame. Gone. Plastic foam and fiberglass. Plastic. You showed your love for your chosen deity with a plastic sculpture. No fucking wonder he thought you were being tactless and zapped the ugly thing when he had a spare moment from killing birds in the Gulf of Mexico.

I mean, really, now: we’re always being told by the oh-so-pious that this, that, and the other calamity is God’s way of telling us he’s pissed off. Pat Robertson was quick to claim that Hurricane Katrina was God’s punishment for the gays in New Orleans, and the old saying “may God strike you down” was always used to imply that he really was a sort of Zeus-wanna-be with a big taser and could drop you if you got too far out of line. Well, guess what: Touchdown Jesus got zapped, not some random gay guy up the road or the lesbian couple down the way. The Jesus statue got grilled.

If we’re to take the almighty God myth seriously, what the hell does that tell you about his feelings for his most devout and committed followers? And if this shows us that, really, the whole God thing is a bit retarded, then surely Mr. & Mrs. Bishop — the couple who spent mucho moolah on the plastic fantastic hommage to their favorite dude — are feeling a bit embarrassed at this time — as well they should.

(Photo of one of God’s other practical jokes by Matthew Mcvay/Corbis)