Whew! Wouldn't Want Israel Running Out of Bombs



See? The job’s clearly not done: she’s still got one hand left.

Damn, I can’t wait to pay my taxes — I’m clearly getting such a tremendous bang for my buck.

Remember back in ’06, when Israel had one of those nasty ticks that cause the hot-tempered little nation to lash out at some random neighbor and blow up some houses, people, infrastructure ‘n shit? They got so into the groove back then that they damn near run out of bombs. It got so bad the US had to send their bestest friend in the whole world extra-special shipments of things that go boom in the night — which of course we did, happily, because it’s always so much more neat and tidy when our allies are doing the indiscriminate killing of civilians. And even though we continue to claim that we’re really looking for a change in the situiation in the Middle East, we’ll always give Israel the tools they need to maintain the status quo — heck, we’ll even foot the bill and give them more than they need. After all, that’s what friends are for, right?

Well, thank goodness for Change We Can’t Believe In. Enough with this whole “we’ll ship you more bombs if you need ’em” approach. That’s for wimpy Republican hawks who don’t know an opportunity to encourage and facilitate indiscriminate killing when they see one. Under the enlightened Obama administration’s watch, the ordinance will be shipped ahead of time, and simply stored in Israel. So much easier, and I bet that way we can get cheaper cargo rates, too. Sure, they’re technically still our bombs, but since we just gave the IDF the keys to the warehouse and told them they could play with our toys whenever they want to, it’s pretty much like turning your kid loose in a candy store. “Is all of that really for me?” Why, yes, Brig. Gen. Ofer Wolf, it’s all for you. Use it wisely now; make sure only bad little Palestinian and Lebanese boys and girls get maimed and killed, okay? And do call us if you need more — the American tax payer is always there to help.

Of course, some speculate that we’re just stashing our nasty hardware in Israel in preparation for Operation “two unwinnable wars is not enough; it’s time we fucked with Iran, too” for which the Pentagon brass is so clearly itching as badly as a skanky hooker with crabs.

(ht: Jeff Semaan, photo from here)